Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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