I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
