ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We got so high we made milksteak
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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