I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
