I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize