its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
