just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
