i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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