your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
