for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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