he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
