haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize