we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize