im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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