It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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