Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
