but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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