Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
