I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
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Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize