We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
