I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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