So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
we should paint friendship bongs
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