Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
