Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
