Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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