Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
