I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The Olympian is in my bed
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