How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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