with your own penis?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
