is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
