On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
is that a dick in a sweater?
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