So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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