It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
