I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
