I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
