Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Send help, water and tortillas.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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