About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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