I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
