I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
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she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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