the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
