I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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