If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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