would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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