I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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