I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
