I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Randomize
