All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
