that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
