the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
