i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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