Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
