remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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