if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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