not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
