That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Drunk is not a location!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
