He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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