Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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