things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
