What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
