Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
