Christians are straight up FREAKS
Duck Duck Cougar?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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