I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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