Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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