Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
