forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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